put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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