I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
