you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
