i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He felt like a one man threesome
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
