Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
