How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
