Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
