Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
