And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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