I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
