In the future we'll all be gay
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
