Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
