So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
