Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize