I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
