I accidentally burped into my bong.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
false alarm. still invincible.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
