Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
