dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
