Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
