So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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