I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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