Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
