if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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