Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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