somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
