wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
