Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
