We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pants are for mortals
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
