i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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