It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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