I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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