You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
