I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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