That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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