So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think your dad took our porno
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
