operation harelip BJ is a go
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
