im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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