There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Randomize
