he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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