the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
