what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
