Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
