Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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