How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
