i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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