Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
