I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
