Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
