Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
