Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
only you would photoshop your dick
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Randomize
