# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
