im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
