i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
