I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
