when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ttyl tear gas
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
