every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
