That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I look better un-naked...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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