also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
