I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
