its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize